Tag Archives: mockumentary

2020 ➤ Vocalist Hadley hammers final nail into the coffin of Spandau Ballet

Tony Hadley , Martin Kemp, Gary Kemp, Rhys Thomas, BBC2, Spandau Ballet, mockumentary,

From last night’s Sun Online

Tony Hadley, Martin Kemp, Gary Kemp, Rhys Thomas, BBC2, Spandau Ballet, mockumentary,

In The Kemps spoof TV doc: this portrait was supposedly painted by Gary Kemp (BBC)

❚ ANOTHER SUN EXCLUSIVE WENT ONLINE simultaneously with last night’s TV “mockumentary” about the Kemp brothers of Spandau Ballet, The Kemps: All True. It saw brothers Martin and Gary mock themselves and featured a portrait supposedly painted by Gary Kemp of Hadley with red eyes, red horns and fangs. Their former singer who reported quitting three years ago declared that he’d rather watch Broadchurch than their TV show. The Sun Online reports Hadley as saying:

Tony Hadley , singer, pop music,

Big Tone: “I’m done.” (Photo: Rex)

I wasn’t approached and would not have anything to do with it. I’m done. They want me back for good but it ain’t going to happen. I’d rather be happy on my own than be in that band again. If they want another lead singer, that’s their choice. But if you want to hear those songs sung by the original singer then you can only really see one bloke – and that’s me.

The Sun reports Hadley’s reaction to the Kemps using their hit Gold last month for a cheesy TV advert for the washing powder Bold. It saw Gold’s lyrics changed to “Bold”:

It’s embarrassing. I posted a social media disclaimer saying, ‘This was nothing to do with me’. Gary wrote Gold. It’s anthemic. When I sing it live, the audience sing back. To change the title is just weird. I thought it was in bad taste.

➢ View The Kemps: All True at BBC iPlayer

➢ Previewed at Shapers of the 80s:
2020, Knife-edge TV doc shows Kemp tongues firmly in their cheeks

➢ Previously at Shapers of the 80s:
2017, Tony Hadley pulls the plug on Spandau Ballet – but the band will rise from the dead

FRONT PAGE

➤ Dalston Superstars get down with a Poundland People’s Christmas feast

Dalston Superstars, Nathan Barley,Vice dotcom,video,mockumentary,hipsters ➢ Click the pic to run video of Dalston Superstars Ep 4 at Vice.com

❚ EPISODE 4 OF DALSTON SUPERSTARS, Vice online’s “structured reality” series about hipness in Hackney, is a Christmas special, which means sex, drugs and sausage rolls. Will the wildest Christmas party Dalston’s ever seen solve the gang’s problems, or just add to their hangovers?

Dalston Superstars, Vicedotcom, Nathan Barley, video, hipsters✰ Stefan: “Dad found my Tumblr and freaked out and he cut me off”

✰ Sam considers whether it’s right to throw a recession party

✰ Maeve becomes a working girl and discovers what “the Occupy Wall Street thing” is all about

✰ Anna thinks she wants to do fashion styling

✰ Stefan and Maeve transition to the working class

✰ Vital vocab: get gaddafied, satanic Mean Girls, ghetto-fabulous snacks

[No scriptwriter gets an onscreen credit but words and images above are
© 2011 Vice Media Inc]

EP 4 #COMMENTS AT VICE ONLINE…

Dalston Superstars, Vice dotcom, video, reality TV,  mockumentary, hipsters❏ Vasilisa Forbes, Photography and Multimedia “This was a really emotional one.”

❏ Charlie Mass, European Institute of Design “I’m from australiaN.”

❏ Laura O’Reardon, Senior College “Maeve, get a job you user.”

❏ Daniel Heronneau, Wallington County Grammar School for Boys “Vee looks like Kreayshawns dj Lil Debbie.”

❏ Jimmy Dallas, Preston, Lancashire “thisiswanknow”

❏ Jack Van Cooten, CEO at Banana Hill “Awesome”

❏ Huw Williams, Central Lancashire “I just envisage a coked up editor screaming at staff: It IS funny! They’ll get it eventually, you’ll see!”

❏ Robsta Hendricks, London “Brilliant. From living West travelling East to living East working West Gastro part time, I get it. Well done.”

❏ Thibaud Guerin-Williams “In Richmond VA this is real.”

❏ Pierre Chambaud, London “how can I be a part of dis gang?”

❏ Grant Armour, Sarfend High School for Dudes, Uni. Sussex, da blud behind da wkd #christmasmixtape “these outta town muthafuckas in efes think they run the game, they going to get it in the knees. we about to blow the roof off alibi in 2012 mane. smokin big damn dank.”

❏ Sean Otley, Manchester “dalston s.s = toss.”

❏ Rich ‘Catface’ Brooks, UCLAN “Chris Morris did this seven years ago, but much better, and aimed at Vice.”

AND NOW THE #christmasmixtape

❏ Update Dec 24 By popular demand, here’s a mere taster of the download featuring largely Grant Armour [see comments] available at, like, #christmasmixtape

Catch up with Dalston Superstars #PREVIOUSLY

➢ View DS Episode One — “cool parties, cool people” and a fingerboard skate park

➢ View DS Episode Two — numero uno sex vixen, Holly Wood, has got eyes for Sam — bad luck, Anna!

➢ View DS Episode Three — art collective NoiNoiNoi mount “an experiment in cosmic dissonance” in E8

➢ Feedback and coverage of Dalston Superstars at Shapersofthe80s (this series is not gonna lie down)

SEMIOLOGY CORNER

❏ Subcultural decryption: Dalston is the area of east London that UK hipsters regard as, like, paradise. Unless they live a mile away in Shoreditch, then it’s Shoreditch. (Hoxton is SO yesterday.)

❏ Subcultural analogy: Nathan Barley was a UK television series featuring hipster role models for Dalston Superstars, like, six years ago… Not to mention the even holier Mighty Boosh (2004–7).

FRONT PAGE

➤ Dalston Superstars pit Shoreditch irony against beanie brigade realness

Dalston Superstars, Vicedotcom, video,hipsters,mockumentary
➢ Click the pic to run video of Dalston Superstars Ep 3 at Vice.com

❚ IN EPISODE 3 OF DALSTON SUPERSTARS, Vice online’s “structured reality” mockumentary series about who’s more hip than who in Hackney, this week’s highlight is an exhibition of work @ Wagwan Studios. An infamous art collective called NoiNoiNoi from Dalston E8 describe themselves as “an experiment in cosmic dissonance”, and produce installations collaged from photos and consumer brands which are spookily close to the art stuff in galleries throughout the east London postcodes of E1, 2 and 8. Also this week …

Dalston Superstars, Vicedotcom, Nathan Barley, video, hipsters✰ Vee says “Just say no to capitalism: uncapitalise.”

✰ Sam and Anna’s relationship is on the rocks.

✰ Dweeby Stefan becomes Captain Scarlet, psychedelic astronaut, then gets confused about the meaning of reality — “We’re real, right?”

✰ “All the boys want… lipstick paradise.”

✰ Just wait for the punchline when Stefan says “I think I know a little something about art…”

[No scriptwriter gets an onscreen credit but words and images above are
© 2011 Vice Media Inc]

EP 3 #COMMENTS AT VICE ONLINE…

❏ Tom McArthur, Breaking News Editor at Msnbc “This is like an episode of Nathan Barley that’s been plagiarised by humourless German students.”

❏ Beth Wrays, photographer “would everyone over the age of thirty stop going on about nathan f***ing barley, who gives a toss! your not cool!”

❏ Daniel Worrall, Uni Sussex “I’m 23. Nathan Barley was ahead of its time :-p Bloody Hipsters”

❏ Carly Jeannette Skone, Seattle, Washington “This is the most retarded thing I’ve ever seen!”

❏ Allan Struthers, Top Commenter, BRGS “The title music for this is really awesome.”

Dalston Superstars, Vicedotcom, video

Art collective NoiNoiNoi: “an experiment in cosmic dissonance” (videograb from Dalston Superstars)

➢ Catch up with Dalston Superstars, Episode One — “cool parties, cool people” and a fingerboard skate park

➢ Catch up with Dalston Superstars, Episode Two — numero uno sex vixen, Holly Wood, has got eyes for Sam — bad luck, Anna!

❏ Festive question for the producers — As Top Commenter Struthers notes, some great tracks backing Ep3 of Dalston Superstars but… where’s the free Christmas download of tunes from the show, such as Grant Armour’s theme tune Dalston Riddim, and Mum Dad I’m moving to Dalston, by DJ Platinum ft Decland’n’Karl? … Update Dec 23: By popular demand, here’s a taster of the download at, like, #christmasmixtape

❏ Subcultural decryption: Dalston is the area of east London that UK hipsters regard as, like, paradise. Unless they live a mile away in Shoreditch, then it’s Shoreditch.

❏ Subcultural analogy: Nathan Barley was a UK television series featuring hipster role models for Dalston Superstars, like, six years ago… Not to mention the Dalston-based absurdist series The Mighty Boosh (2004–7) — its four way crimp-off (below) led by Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt, says it all for the coolest of the cool.

FRONT PAGE

➤ Nathan Barley walks again in Vice’s video serial Dalston Superstars

Dalston Superstars, Vicedotcom, Nathan Barley, video, hipsters,Sam
➢ Click the pic to run the video of Dalston Superstars at Vice.com

❚ IN EPISODE 2 OF DALSTON SUPERSTARS, Vice online’s no-holds-barred East London reality series, Sam, Anna, Maeve, Vee and Stefan try to heal the wounds after last week’s nightclub bust up. Maybe a night out will help? Unlikely, with Dalston’s numero uno sex vixen, Holly Wood, back on the scene. She’s got eyes for Sam — bad luck, Anna!

Dalston Superstars, Vicedotcom, Nathan Barley, video, hipsters✰ Maeve learns from Stefan what a Yoko is.

✰ Sam scores a job as a cool-spotter — “I’m not here to make friends.”

✰ “Holly Wood thinks she is Courtney Love circa 94 but she’s actually more like Courtney Love circa 2010.”

✰ “When you come back from LA it’s sort of like you come back from a sauna”

✰ “Tell me what happened with Jared Leto” — “We were tweeting together so that’s like having a thing.”

✰ Anna stages a tantrum and wins the accolade “badass”.

[No scriptwriter gets an onscreen credit but all words and images above are
© 2011 Vice Media Inc]

➢ Catch up with Dalston Superstars, Episode One — “cool parties, cool people” and a fingerboard skate park

Dalston Superstars, Vicedotcom, Nathan Barley, video, hipsters,Stefan, Maeve

Dalston Superstars: Stefan and Maeve networking f2f in hipster London

❏ Subcultural decryption: Dalston is the area of east London that UK hipsters regard as, like, paradise. Unless they live a mile away in Shoreditch, then Shoreditch.

❏ Subcultural analogy: Nathan Barley was a UK television series featuring hipster role models for Dalston Superstars, like, six years ago

TBH, THE #COMMENTS AT VICE ARE
BETTER THAN THE SCRIPT

❏ “I hope this is a joke because as a joke it’s funny.”

❏ “Hipsters mocking hipsters is like Dawn French mocking fats. Doesn’t work.”

❏ “It’s like, funny thinking it’s not funny, because it’s like funny to like, not realise that it’s funny, but then also it’s not funny but it’s funny to pretend it’s not funny like it is funny, even though it isn’t.”

❏ “Stupid people think it’s Cool. Smart people think it’s a joke: also Cool.”

❏ “ ‘Realness’ is particularly hard to put your finger on.”

❏ “Fashankers ridiculing Fashankers… like double irony… or something.”

❏ “They all need a good wash and for someone to tell them they’re not unique, they’re clones of each other in different colour thriftwear.”

❏ “Sam has perfected the ‘confused gormless stare’. Robert Pattinson will be so pissed.”

❏ “This is not real, blatantly — why do people post serious comments on this?”

❏ “This is the funniest and the saddest thing ever. Funny because it’s hyperbole but sad because it’s only slightly exaggerated.”

❏ “Are these real humans?”

❏ Either that or it’s hashtag fail.

FRONT PAGE