➤ “Nice” Martin Kemp promises to make trouble on CBB but is upstaged by Bet Lynch — twice

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Martin Kemp sets off for the Celebrity Big Brother house: apparently his wife Shirlie, and children Harleymoon and Roman can’t bear to part with him. (Selfie courtesy of Roman)

◼ MASSIVE CHEERS GREETED Martin Kemp when he took up residence as the alpha male on this summer’s Celebrity Big Brother last night, but even while he was boasting of a secret plan for winning the sink-or-swim reality game show, he was upstaged twice. First came a classic bitch-off between two doyennes from the leading British TV soaps which saw Julie Goodyear (the feisty barmaid Bet Lynch from Coronation Street) fling a drink in the face of Cheryl Fergison (Heather Trott from EastEnders). Then came a spontaneous romp as Julie played up to randy Bet’s reputation by chasing a hot young production lad round the studio while recording a pre-launch video.

Nevertheless the bookies’ odds today were 5/2 on the cool Spandau Ballet bass player and ex-EastEnders villain Martin winning the three-week TV battle, which isn’t saying much since this season’s housemates are a right chav bunch of dummies who don’t even know you don’t call a prince Prince to his face, unless he’s a pedigree hound.

So what on earth is nice-guy and father-of-two Martin doing in this contest of cunning? “I love Big Brother,” he told the world in a video interview. “I’ve been watching it since it started, been a fan for so long. I’ve watched hours and hours of the show.”

Julie Goodyear, Martin Kemp, Celebrity Big Brother , Cheryl Fergison,2012,Julian Clary

“Da-a-ay Wunn, the bitches kick off”: seconds before Julie throws her drink in Cheryl’s face on Celebrity Big Brother, Martin has twigged that this is a stunt and starts to corpse behind his hanky. Straight after, Julian also grinned: “I don’t believe it, not for one minute.” (Screengrab © Channel 5)

Toughest thing he’s dreading, he says, is possibly having to sing. “I’m absolutely terrible at singing,” the 80s pop heart-throb admitted. “What’s hard is everybody expects that I should be able to sing because I was in the band, but they wouldn’t let me sing to save my life.”

Asked by host Brian Dowling if he had a nasty villainous plan up his sleeve, Martin said: “I have, yeah. If you’re going to go in there you’ve got to go in to win.

“My favourite shows are where it all kicks off and there are big arguments. So if nothing happens, I’ll try and wind it up. The Big Brother house is a TV studio and it is a game. I will nominate the **** off people if I think they’re too strong. I know what’s in store.”

Will Martin live to regret those words?

Julie Goodyear, Celebrity Big Brother

Up to her old tricks: national treasure Julie Goodyear, aka Corrie’s Bet Lynch, takes a shine to a young studio assistant before the Celebrity Big Brother launch. (Screengrab from Channel 5)

ON-AIR CONFESSION ABOUT MARTIN’S POP PAST

❏ Day 7 update: Talking of his career as a pop star with the band Spandau Ballet, who famously fell out badly after 10 years together, Martin said this week on Celebrity Big Brother:

Like every other band, you end up arguing about money, publishing or about women

Whatever can he have been referring to?

Martin Kemp, Celebrity Big Brother

Big Brother sets Martin Kemp the rock’n’roll challenge of wrecking a hotel room. At the ripe old age of 50, the task knocked him flat. (Screengrab from Channel 5)

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