❚ IN EPISODE 2 OF DALSTON SUPERSTARS, Vice online’s no-holds-barred East London reality series, Sam, Anna, Maeve, Vee and Stefan try to heal the wounds after last week’s nightclub bust up. Maybe a night out will help? Unlikely, with Dalston’s numero uno sex vixen, Holly Wood, back on the scene. She’s got eyes for Sam — bad luck, Anna!
✰ Maeve learns from Stefan what a Yoko is.
✰ Sam scores a job as a cool-spotter — “I’m not here to make friends.”
✰ “Holly Wood thinks she is Courtney Love circa 94 but she’s actually more like Courtney Love circa 2010.”
✰ “When you come back from LA it’s sort of like you come back from a sauna”
✰ “Tell me what happened with Jared Leto” — “We were tweeting together so that’s like having a thing.”
✰ Anna stages a tantrum and wins the accolade “badass”.
[No scriptwriter gets an onscreen credit but all words and images above are
© 2011 Vice Media Inc]
❏ Subcultural decryption: Dalston is the area of east London that UK hipsters regard as, like, paradise. Unless they live a mile away in Shoreditch, then Shoreditch.
❏ Subcultural analogy: Nathan Barley was a UK television series featuring hipster role models for Dalston Superstars, like, six years ago
TBH, THE #COMMENTS AT VICE ARE
BETTER THAN THE SCRIPT
❏ “I hope this is a joke because as a joke it’s funny.”
❏ “Hipsters mocking hipsters is like Dawn French mocking fats. Doesn’t work.”
❏ “It’s like, funny thinking it’s not funny, because it’s like funny to like, not realise that it’s funny, but then also it’s not funny but it’s funny to pretend it’s not funny like it is funny, even though it isn’t.”
❏ “Stupid people think it’s Cool. Smart people think it’s a joke: also Cool.”
❏ “ ‘Realness’ is particularly hard to put your finger on.”
❏ “Fashankers ridiculing Fashankers… like double irony… or something.”
❏ “They all need a good wash and for someone to tell them they’re not unique, they’re clones of each other in different colour thriftwear.”
❏ “Sam has perfected the ‘confused gormless stare’. Robert Pattinson will be so pissed.”
❏ “This is not real, blatantly — why do people post serious comments on this?”
❏ “This is the funniest and the saddest thing ever. Funny because it’s hyperbole but sad because it’s only slightly exaggerated.”
❏ “Are these real humans?”
❏ Either that or it’s hashtag fail.